Authored by: Jeff Cheah

Authored by: Ng Eng Hooi

Generally, a professional coaching session will be conducted through a scheduled one-on-one coaching or group coaching. However, it’s not sufficient for a coaching culture creation to just have many one-on-one scheduled sessions. It has to create many conducive occasions for massive coaching conversations to happen in the organization. A leader with a coaching mindset should be able to maximize different situations, locations, and occasions for coaching conversations.

The above chart shows how a coach leader can do coaching at different occasions and events.

One-on-one scheduled coaching sessions can be done effectively in this way through a 360-degree debrief, Individual Development Plan discussion, performance review, project consulting, or when a manager dedicates a task and gives feedback to his/her team upon completion of the project.

Some managers have a problem initiating a one-on-one conversation. In particular, they do not have a clear objective of the conversation, so the interaction or discussion between the leader and the employee is only task-related discussion and not about employee discovery. Therefore, creating an opportunity for managers to have a scheduled one-on-one session is important to discuss topics such as an employee’s career development plan, monthly performance review, or post-task feedback, or to just conduct a stay interview to understand an employee’s status.

we understand also some managers are not comfortable with and do not have time for repetitive formal coaching sessions with their direct reports. But at least an one-on-one scheduled session with your direct report would be a great opportunity to interact, open up, listen, empathize, motivate, and unlock their potential with their coachee.

Another thing a manager can do when he/she has a bigger team to manage is to provide group coaching during scheduled team meetings. Daily and weekly huddles will work well if managers are able to balance between seeking opinions and dictating the meeting, such as listening to the challenges they have faced and provide direction during the team meeting. Other scheduled team meetings, like group discussions or premeeting discussions, could be an opportunity for a manager to coach the team. Examples of this include sales meetings with top clients, meeting regional MDs, crisis meetings, etc. The coaching meeting will increase participation and involvement, and more ideas will be collected for creating a better strategy.

Annual company events like talent reviews and strategic meetings will blend well with a coaching approach. A formal event like this does not necessarily need to be “too formal” or a “one-way communication” kind of event. The coaching approach will help liven up the discussion as it emphasizes two-way communication to enhance the attendee’s thought process. A coach needs to be a good facilitator who can facilitate the meeting meaningfully and help attendees see new opportunities and the perspective of other attendees.

A highly trained coach will not only utilize the scheduled session for coaching activities; the coach knows the power of leveraging leisure coaching or “corridor coaching” to coach anyone during  casual events like lunches, unscheduled meetups, coffee talks, tea breaks, at corridors, or even in small talks during birthday or company events. Never underestimate the little talks that happen for even a few minutes during these occasions, which could raise massive awareness in a person.

The coaching questions that coaches could ask curiously during an unscheduled coffee talk could be something like “What would be your biggest takeaway from this year?” or “What are the things that you will do or will not do next year?” You can also give feedback to a person you know well through a question. “Hey, Lisa. I like your energy and focus, and you seem to always smile and bring positivity to everyone. May I know what is driving you to maintain this level of energy?”

During a short tea break at a workshop, the conversation can also be “What have you learned from this workshop?” or “How would you apply this to your job?” Scheduled coffee talk and lunch conversation should be internally focused as this occasion is a good opportunity to know them better and build a deeper relationship. Leisure coaching works particularly well for millennials as statistics show that they prefer getting feedback.

Workshop events like team buildings, training sessions, leadership training, virtual learnings, networking sessions, and conference events are also conducive venues for a coaching conversation. If you are a trainer, facilitator, host, or emcee who is hosting in these functions, you should spend more time engaging your audience through open-ended questions,
wrapping up the learnings at the end of a team building, incorporating coaching into the leadership program, asking powerful questions during training workshops, and asking meaningful questions during a networking session.

Apart from having coaching conversations at scheduled or unscheduled meetings, you can find many “coachable moments” as a manager in these times when your employee would benefit from reflection, insight, and feedback. You will see employees struggling with challenges, such as making and weighing a decision, facing a bottleneck, coping with stress, or having performance issues, and this will be the best time for a coaching conversation.

The above chart demonstrates coaching results and effectiveness. It will increase if a coach or manager fully taps on all coaching occasions and events because it will provide a balance between the formal and informal sessions, as a coach leader should do.

State of Focus

A formal coaching session helps coachees stay focused in an uninterrupted environment, and it increases the individual’s state of focus. Scheduled coaching sessions are always conducive for discussion, like brainstorming the action plan, discussing future plans, motivating employees to move forward, planning for organization/department pain points, and other strategy and planning-related discussions.

Formal coaching, like an individual development plan, a performance review, or a postmortem would be normally conducted in a private room with the use of facilities like flip charts, marker pens, papers, and materials that can be used to connect the discussed points to the conversation. The aim of a formal session is to help a coachee stay focused in creating an action plan. For example, creating a self-learning plan for the year during IDP coaching, improving certain behaviors during a performance review, and improving processes during a project postmortem.

Managers and leaders use coaching skills interchangeably in performance review sessions and employee development conversations. Topics addressed in these coaching conversations can include career aspirations or career pathing, skill-focused development, confidence building, communication skills, and a review of their performance every quarter.

However, it sometimes depends on the coachee’s openness and the coach’s capability to open up the conversation with the coachee in the scheduled one-on-one session setting. The coachee sometimes finds it difficult to open up fully, is unable to share their inner thoughts, or simply needs more time and patience from the coach. In this case, an unscheduled session, such as during lunch or coffee time, will work well as the coachee will loosen up and share more about themselves when the environment is less tense.

Having said that, a skilled coach can easily turn a scheduled one-on-one formal session such as a 360-degree assessment debrief into a “heart-to-heart” coaching session by creating a safe space for discussion.

Safe to Talk

The more casual the occasion or meeting, the safer the environment to speak. Occasions like lunch, casual talks at corridors, coffee talks, and attending a team building or a virtual event will be an ideal venue to discuss/coach on the “real problem,” identify real issues, understand the coachee’s real motivation and goal, and know something that normally you wouldn’t know from the coachee. This informal coaching session will create an opportunity to identify real challenges and help the coachee in setting the right goal.

Informal coaching will help coachees open up and build trust with the coach as well as help the coach understand the coachee’s goal and priority through clarifying the coaching goals and agenda. As for a professional coach’s concern, clarifying the real challenge and creating the goal are the most difficult parts of the coaching agenda. Occasions like lunches, coffee talks, birthday celebrations, conversations at corridors, and unscheduled calls will make the environment safe and conducive to a coaching conversation. Coachees will take off their guards and be willing to share more with their coaches.

Conclusion 

Coaching is not only the manager’s job, it’s everyone’s job. The above coaching interactions can be done by individuals, peers, colleagues, and anyone who values collaboration and empowerment. So, start your coaching conversation and look for coachable moments!

 

Authored by: Ng Eng Hooi

Many organizations claim that they are coaching-culture organizations. They thought that creating and implementing a coaching program for leaders and employees will make them a coaching-culture organization. So the next questions are, Is your organization building a coaching program or a coaching culture? How does your coaching program contribute to building a coaching culture?

Running coaching programs for managers does not guarantee the success of a coaching culture. Coaching initiatives have to fully cascade down from the managers to all employees through coaching conversations and a coaching awareness campaign driven by the coaching COE

"Coaching Culture Comes from Three Ways"

 

A coaching culture has to be driven from three directions. These are the top-down approach, bottom-up approach, and middle-out approach.

For the top-down approach, Senior VP/directors are responsible for working closely with the coaching COE team to support and drive coaching awareness within the organization. With permission granted from the top, middle managers are provided a safe environment to practice coaching conversations safely with their direct reports and demonstrate coach-leader behaviours (middle-out approach) to further reinforce the commitments contributed by the senior leaders.

The bottom line of a coaching culture will still be the first line of employees, the individual contributors who impact the coaching culture from the bottom up. All employees will eventually be trusted and empowered, their potential unlocked to drive optimized performance and to deliver business results.

In the real business world nowadays, practicing the middle-out approach is the key strategy in corporate change as they will be tasked to lead the project that involves creating an influence on multiple stakeholders. To quote Peter Hawkins in his book, “Culture change can be sanctioned from the top, but needs to be driven in the middle of the organization – the leaders of tomorrow.”

So, which direction are you focusing to drive your culture change? how would you supplement you coaching/leadership program to organizational change?

 

Authored by: Maimon Md Arif

The UN [i]Sustainable Development Goals (SDG) are a universal call to action to end poverty, protect the planet, and improve the lives and prospects of everyone, everywhere by 2030. The 17 Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) are the agreed call for action by developed and developing countries in a global partnership. They recognize that ending poverty and other deprivations must go hand-in-hand with strategies that improve health and education, reduce inequality, and spur economic growth; at the same time, it tackles climate change and works to preserve our oceans and forests.

Achieving the SDGs necessitates a transformation of economies, societies and human behaviour. At the SDG summit in September 2019 in New York the ^[ii]Heads of State and Government recognized that despite advances in some areas, progress was uneven and, overall, the world was not on track to deliver on the Sustainable Development Goals by 2030.

Education and SDG

The [iii]Principles for Responsible Management Education (PRME) are initiated by the United Nations Global Compact, a UN supported platform, to raise the profile of sustainability in schools around the world. This is done by equipping today's business students with an understanding and ability to deliver change tomorrow. PRME is a collaborative, collegial learning community that shares good practices to inspire and champion responsible management education, research and thought leadership globally. Universities influence and shape tomorrow’s business leaders and society. It is therefore important to embed responsible and sustainable business practices in the curriculum.

[iv] Dr Dorrian Elizabeth Aiken and Dr Salomé Van Coller-Peter of University of Stellenbosch Business School in their article published in USB management review noted that various researchers have pointed out: to lead effectively in the 21st century, business leaders require technical excellence and experience, as well as the ability to understand and respond positively in terms of the complex range of human experience. They face a business world fast becoming unpredictable – often described as volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA). They argue that business schools can contribute to ethical, resilient leadership that can meet the Sustainable Development Goals when these schools equip potential leaders with coaching competencies. This requires both translational and transformative learning. Translational as what leaders should know and do - knowledge and competencies.  Transformational as the ability to connect the dots - an ability to think in increasingly complex ways, to be comfortable with multiple perspectives.

Coaching defined

Coaching as defined by ICF (International Coaching Federation) is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.

The essence of coaching as defined by ICC (International Coaching Community) is:

• To help a person change in the way they wish and helping them go in the direction they want to go.
• Coaching supports a person at every level in becoming who they want to be.
• Coaching builds awareness, empowers choice, and leads to change.

Dr Dorrian Elizabeth Aiken and Dr Salomé Van Coller-Peter believe that coaching skills help to grow more awareness of complexity and ambiguity, and consequently build more resilience in leaders. They believe that leaders with a skilful coaching style stand a greater chance of harnessing the positive commitment of employees because of the fundamental principles of coaching: listening attentively, building trust, encouraging potential, and ensuring accountability. The reflective practice results in transformational change to the team.

[v]Karen Tidsall (CEO of InterCHANGE People Development) in her article in Training Journal suggests that coaching is a key tool in building sustainable achievement at work. Embedding a coaching culture gives managers the skills to behave in ways that inspire an adult response, to use a coaching style in daily conversations. The [vi]ILM research 2010 ‘Creating a Coaching Culture’ found 95% of leaders saw direct benefits to the organisation, and 96% saw benefits to the individual when coaching was introduced. The list of benefits were improved communication and interpersonal skills, leadership skills, conflict resolution, personal confidence, attitudes and motivation, management performance, as well as preparation for a new role or promotion.

Coaching Leadership Style

The article “[vii]Coaching Leadership Style Advantages, Disadvantages and Characteristics,” published by the Future of Work blog, states that a Coaching Leadership Style is a guiding leadership style. They are not coaches but do have coaching skills. Instead of showing their direct reports how to do something, or delegating work to them directly, the coaching leader encourages people to try something new on their own. This leadership welcomes both positive and negative feedback, forgiving in failures. They have high EQ, empathy and self-awareness to be able to develop and improve the performance and competencies of the team, as well as a supportive environment for each person on their team to develop their strengths.

Coaching Social Leaders

Based on her reasoning, it is not just the transfer of coaching skills but being selective on WHO is being coached, that help to meet the Sustainability Development Goals. It follows that coaches can choose to be the catalysts to build capacity for change agents or Social Leaders to grow and elevate their impact in the world. [viii]ICF Foundation, through its ignite program, provides a platform for ICF coaches to volunteer in pro bono coaching projects to accelerate the UN SDG. Ignite program envisions a world in which coaching accelerates and amplifies positive impact on humanity and the planet, through coaching to meet the challenges of local and global challenges.

Sustainability coaching model: COCOON – My coaching model

My previous corporate position in Sustainability and Corporate Social Responsibility had a big influence in how and who I coach. How I coach has sustainability embedded in my coaching model, COCOON. The process in the COCOON model encourages active reflective thinking to move the client forward - to encourage the client to expand awareness for greater clarity about their limiting beliefs and their motivation; to get the client to understand their coaching journey such that the client will be able to self-coach and adopt a coaching leadership style; to experience not just learning but the process of learning itself.  Martha Beth, New York Times Best Seller, puts it well: “We each have the ability to learn wisdom, and as we learn wisdom, we become our own counsellor, and we start using experience as our teacher. And then we’re home free.” Self-Coaching is sustainable self-development, as no one knows you better than you, yourself. You are the expert in your own life and your work. With self-awareness, you learn to listen to your inner intelligence, be creative and resourceful. With the coaching toolkits, you can elicit your own self-discovered solutions to your problems!

In who I coach, it is my personal contribution in trying to meet SDG 17, to build capacity for change in leaders that will create impact and are empowered to grow. My niche is in coaching . Social leaders, as defined by The Centre for Social Leadership, are leaders who devote one’s life and talents to improving society regardless of social standing, wealth, or privilege. A social leader is someone who empowers other leaders.

I don’t have the skill to be a changemaker and make direct impact on the ground but I can support the changemakers, the social leaders, through coaching. I coach social leaders for a ripple impact. As a coach, I partner with passionate social leaders to GROW and ELEVATE their impact to achieve their dream of building a better world.

Coaching to meet SDG

There is an urgency for the world to play catch up to meet the SDG dateline in 2030. There is urgency for transformational change in existing leadership thinking and mindset, and this can be done through coaching.

Coaching has a big role in meeting SDG 2030 particularly in how we train future leaders in our education system and bringing transformational learning centre stage in learning & development of existing leaders.

 

References:

[i] https://sdgs.un.org/goals

[ii] https://sustainabledevelopment.un.org/content/documents/26298HLPF_2020_impact_COVID19.pdf

[iii] https://www.unprme.org/about

[iv] https://www.usb.ac.za/usb_insights/how-coaching-skills-can-help-leaders-to-deliver-on-the-sdgs/

[v] https://www.trainingjournal.com/articles/feature/5-steps-sustainable-organisation

[vi] https://www.institutelm.com/resourceLibrary/creating-a-coaching-culture-2011.html

[vii] https://futureofworking.com/coaching-leadership-style-advantages-disadvantages-and-characteristics/

[viii] https://foundationoficf.org/engage/ignite/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Authored by: Wai K Leong    

That is a question I'm often asked and here are some questions to think about. When was the last time you resisted change even though you know it is good for you? Do you remember a time when you were about to attempt something new but you held yourself back, not because of fear or uncertainty? Do you remember getting good advise but did not act on it?

What is the common denominator? Chances are, the push for change came from someone else and rather than from within. We resisted it, not because we did not believe in it but because it wasn't our decision. This is Newton's third law in action, "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." When we are pushed forward, we push back (resist). Our brain wants autonomy and choice. Give people freedom to choose and you can influence them to change more effectively. Here are five tips to help you in your conversations to initiate change.

Express Empathy - when people demonstrate resistance by sharing their problems and difficulties why they are unable to do it, the first step is to express understanding and empathy. When we do that, they see us an allies and not pushy adversaries. You may say, "I can appreciate how difficult that can be and I'd like to acknowledge you for (identified strength).

Identify their Aspirations - Next step is to help them identify what they want. You may ask questions such as, "What would you like to see different?", "What do you  want to achieve for yourself in the near future?", "Why is that important for you?" "What does it mean to you when you achieved it?"

Point out Disconnects - Share your observations on behaviours that you are noticing and contrast it with what they are saying. These are blind spots that the person might not notice. You may say, "I'm happy to hear that you like your job and you want to build a career here. I'm also noticing that timeliness at work is a challenge for you. How do you see that as important to your career aspirations?" or "I'm glad to hear that you are trying your best to meet the budget and this will definitely contribute to your aspirations. I'm also noticing that the results are not coming forth despite your time and effort invested. What needs to happen in order to achieve what you want?"

Explore Impact - Impact and consequences influences behaviours. We act differently when we are aware of the positives and negatives that might come in the way of our actions. You may ask, "What impact do you see if you continue to deliver this level of work quality or result?", "What are some possible consequences that you may experience when this continues?" or "How will all these affect you?" or "What opportunities do you see coming in our way when you do things differently?"

Encourage Decisions - Allow people to make their own decisions instead of concluding and deciding for them. We take away their power of commitment when we speak on their behalf. You may ask, "Considering what we have discussed, what you do plan to do?", or "What actions do you plan to a take arising from here?"

Remember, people are like seeds. They grow in their own time. Some seeds germinate overnight and some take longer. As a leader, we need to give them nourishment and sunshine to help in their growth. Having said all that, know that some seeds don't grow at all.

What are your thoughts?

Authored by: Wai K Leong    

Self-esteem is our internal sense of self-worth. It is a result of our judgments about our abilities, contributions and value.

Having a healthy level self-esteem is critical to our happiness and confidence to handle work and life challenges. However when one has an overload of self-esteem, one may come across as aloof and egoistic; and if insufficient, it produces stress and unhappiness.

A person who has a healthy dose of self-esteem will exude humble confidence; it is a mental state where the person is aware of their self-worth while at the same time receptive to new learnings. They are aware of their strengths, abilities and contributions and at the same time accepts that there are areas of growth and development without feeling inadequate.

Here are some tips to boost your self-esteem and confidence. As you will notice, it is just a matter of shifting our focus to see the other side of the coin.

Tip 1: Stop comparing - The act of comparing ourselves with others will create a sense of better or lesser. When we compare with people who are better, we either admire or feel envious of them. Either way, we feel that we are not good enough. This affects our self-esteem. Be aware that life is a journey and whichever point in life that you are at, rejoice and celebrate what you have and at the same time continue move forward. It is useful to remember that we all start our journey at different times and there is no basis for comparison.

Tip 2: List your successes - If you have made it to this point in your life, you certainly would have accumulated some experiences of success. Recall what they are. We tend to forget what we have achieved and focus on what we lack. Make a list of your achievements, no matter how small and you will be amazed at yourself. Make an effort to list 20 now and go celebrate!

Tip 3: Identify your qualities - We all have personal traits that are unique to us. We call them our signature strengths. What are yours? How have you used them to help you experience life challenges in a positive manner? What are three strengths can you use to help you build an even healthier self-esteem? Choose one quality or trait a week and mindfully use it to help you achieve higher confidence.

Tip 4: List your skills & abilities - All of us would have some form of skills in our life that is useful. Taking stock of these skills can give us more confidence that we have value. It is important to remember that skills development is an ongoing process and if we choose one area to invest our time in we will become masterful in that area. This sense of mastery will give us a higher level of self-esteem and confidence. See failures as learning opportunities. The more you fail the faster you succeed.

Tip 5: Choose your friends wisely - Who we are, is a result of the relationships that we have built with people around us. Some people nurtures and encourages us while others who does the opposite. Be mindful and associate more with supportive friends, work colleagues and family members. Spend more time with those who help us feel good. Be appreciate to those who give us constructive feedback with good intentions.

Tip 6: Rewire yourself - We are nothing more than a hard-wired computer (brain), programmed by people and environment over time. In those years, we have learned to believe what we can or cannot do. It is time to take charge and re-program your mind. Our mental thoughts influences our emotions and that in turn affects our body postures and facial expressions. It is also true the other way around. When we shift our body postures and facial expressions, we shift our emotions and in turn, shifts our mental states. Try smiling widely and project a happy and confident body posture. How do you feel? A psychologist once said, "Fake it till you make it."

Tip 7: Extend help to others - Giving others with our time, energy and talents will make us feel significant and that we matter. Don't wait for others to ask for your help. Walk up and ask if you can be of help. Volunteer a piece of information, offer a kind word, extend your time and effort selflessly. Go out of your way to lend support. What goes around, comes around.

Tip 8: Identify your passion - When we have a sense of purpose in life, it gives us meaning and motivation. That increases our enthusiasm in life. It is certain that all of us have passion for something. It is just a matter of noticing and observing what they are. When we do something that we are passionate about, we lose track of time. We get immersed in the activity and we feel satisfied and complete. Discover what that is for you. Ask yourself, "How is my passion in this area helping people and community around me indirectly. Just like a bee going around looking for nectar, the bee is also unknowingly pollinating  the flowers and helping trees to produce fruits.

Tip 9: Be true to yourself - Know that you are unique and you exist for a reason. Be true to yourself and develop the courage to share your feeling and thoughts of what you believe in. You are not here to live your life for someone else. Don't hold back expressing your true thoughts and feelings just to make someone else happy or to be accepted. Be yourself. You can still share a differing opinion in a respectful manner and still maintain a healthy relationship. Remember the movie "Frozen"?

Bonus Tip: Accept Compliments - You may notice that sometimes, we feel uncomfortable receiving compliments from others. We reply in a way that suggest we don't deserve them. While it may be seen as humility, we are also indirectly re-affirming our sub-conscious that we are not worthy of that positive feedback. So, learn to respond with a simple, "Thank you"

There is nothing stopping each of us from developing a healthier self-esteem and confidence. It is just a matter to seeing the coin from the more empowering side. You have a choice. Remember, achieving a higher self-esteem and confidence does not come easily. You need to put in effort to re-condition yourself.

I'm curious, what might be some of your personal anecdote on how you had shifted your own self-esteem and confidence to higher level?

Authored by: Wai K Leong    

I have just returned from an ICF board meeting in Florida and was inspired to write on this. While these points are written in the context of a board setting, I believe that these tips are equally applicable to any team environment.

I have had many opportunities to work with board members as clients and also being trained by ASAE on exceptional board roles and responsibilities.  Drawing from these experiences, here is how a board member can function even more effectively, as an individual and as a team, in board meetings. Good boards can become even better and I have the privilege to experience one as an ICF board member. Our board transformation took some years to get to this point and our board effectiveness was unofficially validated during the recent ASAE workshop.

In the context of a board, their fiduciary duties are to set strategic directions, provide oversight, ensure optimal resourcing and ultimately being accountable to its stakeholders. To play these roles effectively, here are seven leadership behaviours that will bring out the best in your board meetings.

1. Remember who we serve and why - This is one of our ICF Board promises that we read out at the beginning of every board meeting. It serves as a useful reminder in our decision making. Decisions made will be dependent on our intent and purpose. When we remember why we are there and who we are serving, our decisions can be made more collectively and not self-serving.

2. Think individually but act collectively - Each board member brings with him/her a wealth of wisdom and experience. It is important to contribute what you know (facts) and what you think (opinions) to the discussion so that the board has a wider perspective to make more informed decisions. More importantly, any decisions made must be seen and acted in unison outside the board meetings. There is a saying, "You can have your say but not your way."

3. Develop trust among board members - Trust takes time to make but just a moment to break. I would  rank this as the key foundation for exceptional boards. When trust is lacking, it is very easy to misinterpret any differing view points as a personal attack. When trust is present, we don't second guess the intentions.

4. Embrace differences - Our perspectives are shaped by our life experiences such as upbringing, cultural and socio-economic factors. Thus, each person observing the same event can walk away with different interpretations depending on their perspective. It is extremely important to be aware of this. It is easy to believe that only yours is right. When we choose to accept and celebrate diversity of view-points, discussions becomes more harmonious even though there are differences.

5. Separate opinions and facts - Opinions can sometimes be mistaken as facts when we are not mindful. When a board member expresses his/her opinion assertively supported by his/her depth of experience in the subject, it can sometimes be mistaken as the truth. It is important to remind ourselves that what we share is just our opinion (unless there are factual evidences). When we are mindful of this, we are more likely to respect other opinions. It might be useful to say, "In my opinion…" Know that our depth of experience and expertise in an area doesn't necessary make us right. More importantly, use facts as the primary ingredient and opinions flavour enhancers in the decision making process.

6. Bring forth your respect and courage - For the bold, expressing his/her thoughts in a discussion is not an issue as they have tons of courage. When the courage to speak is not an issue, then a healthy dose of respect for other opinions is useful. Encourage others to share too. For the less bold, you will need to bring forth more courage to share your thoughts; even though you might be alone in it. When trust is present, it is easier to express differing opinions even though there might be a general group consensus.

7. Ask powerful questions - The answers lies in the question. Powerful questions are questions that stimulate others and ourselves to think. As a board member, we contribute more when we challenge each other to think beyond the current thinking. It is important to ask our questions not from a space of proving the person is wrong but from a position where you are curious and wanting to find the answer.

Summary - Board meetings are excellent avenues for each board member to sharpen their leadership qualities, as it did for me. So, I'm wondering which of these points might you want to be more mindful of in your next board meeting? Let's begin with ourselves.

The overall board effectiveness is made up of the collective effectiveness of each board member. When each board member observes and embraces these seven leadership behaviours, the transformation begins. I'm curious, what other tips might be useful for a board member to function effectively?

Authored by: Wai K Leong    

One common topic, when I work with leaders, is the area of public speaking. Common challenges in public speaking are "managing anxieties" and "mind going blank" when in front of an audience. So here are some tips to handle these potential situations.

Anxieties - Even experienced speakers experience anxieties. The difference is that they know how to manage it. Anxieties arises when there is the factor of "unknown". These emotions are a result of a mix of confidence and courage when faced with uncertainties. Confidence is the degree of certainty one has about a situation. The more we practice public speaking, the more confident we get because our brain becomes familiar with those kind of situations. We also feel more confident when we speak on subjects that are close to our hearts and when we have done sufficient preparation.

Courage on the other hand is a human trait that we draw on to help us act in the face of uncertainties. It is the ability to take action despite fear. In the absence of confidence, we need the courage to take the first step. These first steps will eventually give us the experience needed to raise our confidence.

So, how do one find courage? The answer is to search for a compelling reason for doing it. Search for your "WHY". Some questions that you can ask yourself are, "Why is getting good in public speaking important for me?" What's in it for me if I'm good in this?" "What might be the consequences if I don't invest time and effort in this area?" Having a strong purpose and meaning in doing something will give us the strength and courage to experiement.

Sources of anxieties - The emotion of anxiety is useful if we can manage it well. The stress hormones generated in our body can give us that extra push to perform at a higher level, if it is under control. If not, fear can set in and it can be stifling. We generally feel anxious when we are unsure of the outcome and when we feel that we are being judged.

Managing anxieties - The trick to managing our anxieties in public presentation or in any other situations in life, is to play some mind games. This mind game is called re-framing. Re-framing is about seeing the same situation in a positive and more empowering manner. It is about giving the same situation a different meaning that will help you focus on the positives. It is about choosing to see the head side of the coin instead of the tail. So, here are some re-framing techniques.

"They want me to succeed" - As an audience, have you felt uncomfortable when you see a nervous presenter? I bet if you have a magic wand, you would take it out to calm the presenter because you want the person to succeed. Yes, 99% of any audience wants us to succeed. So you already have positive energies to start with.

"It is about them, not me" - When we focus our attention on ourselves, we will feel we are being evaluated and negative self-talk creeps in. So one trick is to divert your attention from self to audience by engaging the audience as quickly as you can. Ask them to do something, think of something or get feedback from them. Ask them a question or get them to do an exercise. In this way, you divert the energy to the audience and you will have some time to re-compose.

"It is a conversation" - When we re-frame a presentation into a conversation, it takes away the feeling that you have to speak all that time. This re-frame takes some pressure away. A conversation is two way. A presentation is one way. Whether you are dealing with an audience of 10 or 100, see yourself having a conversation with them. Get them to respond occasionally, pause for questions or ask for comments. In dealing with larger audience, if you don't expect a response, you will not feel disappointed or embarrassed. Ask a question, pause (for possible responses) and then answer the question. This technique will give you a breather to re-focus your thoughts.

"It is not a performance" - In a performance such as singing or stage acting, the focus is on you. It is about how well you carry a note or how realistic you are in your acting. There is a benchmark and a certain level of expectations from the audience. Don't see public speaking as a performance because it is not (unless you are in competition). There are no benchmarks except for the level of confidence that you exude. Whatever contents that you deliver, is just your opinion supported by some evidence that you produce. So just be yourself and you will be fine.

Create a metaphor - People play mind games, all the time to feel confident. They create pictures of themselves or use metaphors in their mind to boost their courage and confidence. One client chose to see herself as an eagle soaring above the audience, totally in control and totally safe. So what might be a metaphor that you can create in your mind to give you that confidence and courage?

"My opinion matters" - When you are asked to present, know that your opinion, experience and knowledge on the subject is important to the audience. If the audience walk away with just one thing they learned from your presentation, you have succeeded. Sometimes we feel that we are "nobody" in comparison to the wisdom and experience of the audience. Know that each of us is unique and in our uniqueness, there is always some perspectives that others can appreciate about.

Value the experience - What ever the outcome of your public speaking stint may be, value the experience. If it turns out to be better than what you had expected, celebrate! If it turns out the other way, learn from it. All effective presenters have failed many times before becoming good at it and they learn from each experience.

Move your energy - When anxiety builds up while waiting for your turn to speak; move, don't sit. Stand up and walk around. Take a few deep breadths and slowly exhale. Breathing out three times slower than you breathe in. Focus on one thought that empower you; be it a picture or a short phrase.

So, now that we have some techniques to manage our anxieties, let's look at finding a way to remember what we want to say.

Content Delivery - There is nothing worse than standing in front of an audience, with a "million eyes" looking at you and you have nothing to say, "mind gone blank". Pretty frightening right?

Leverage on Frameworks - Frameworks provide us with a structure to deliver our contents. Just like building a house, once you have the key structures in place, all you need is to fill it up with bricks. There are many frameworks you can leverage on. Here are three that can guide your content delivery:

What-Why-How: What is it that you want to share? Why is that important to the audience? How can someone start doing that. Example: What is coaching? Why is coaching important? How can one start to practice coaching?

Situation-Solution-Benefits: What is the problem or situation that we are facing? What solutions am I proposing? What are the benefits of that approach. Example: The situation is that the competition in our industry is very keen. I'm suggesting that we consider doing X and Y as a solution. The benefits of adopting this approach are...

Problem-Cause-Solution: What is the problem that we are facing? What are some causes of this problem.? What  solutions that we can adopt? Example:  Production downtime is causing our company opportunity loss amounting to $X annually. Here are the top three reasons for it. The way forward is to do X, Y, Z.

Have a framework in your mind when you present, fill it up with what you want to say and your flow will make sense.

Understanding Brain-Science - It is useful to understand how our brain gets activated when faced with uncertainty. Over our human evolution, our brain has been conditioned to look for danger and pitfalls. We tend to focus on what can go wrong and how that might affects us. So we basically live part of lives in the future, imagining the worse case scenario. This creates anxieties. When we feel anxious, our brain secretes cortisol (stress hormone) and adrenalin (fight-flight hormone) and these chemicals reduces our thinking capacity. So instead of thinking of potential failures and worst case scenarios, re-focus your brain to imagine a successful outcome. See in your mind an image of success; see yourself standing in front of a supportive and encouraging audience. Do an imaginary presentation in your mind to prepare it for the real situation.

So, have fun experimenting with some of these mind games. I'm curious, what are some techniques that you have used to manage your own anxieties?

Authored by: Wai K Leong    

As a leader, one of the toughest situation at work is when we have a non-performing staff who is not responding to our feedback, guidance and support. In this situation, the coaching approach might not be the most effective way to handle the situation. Coaching works well when there is collaboration, mutual trust and respect and when there is willingness from the other party to be helped. While many of the problematic staff situations might be contributed by the leader's own perception, behaviour and approach, I'm going to assume here that the leader is generally effective in engaging the majority of his team members and yet, have one or two difficult staff to handle. I'm also assuming here that the person has more of an attitude rather than a skill issue that is contributing to the problem. Here are some tips to hold these difficult conversations.

Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally - These kinds of conversation are emotionally challenging for both the leader and the staff. If the leader can hold this potentially-charged conversations in an objective and calm manner, you have won half the battle. Reframing the situation in our mind before the conversation and holding a positive regard about the person is a useful start. It gives us the necessary courage and the right attitude to handle the conversation with less stress. Here are some mental reframes that you can use.

Reframe #1 - "This is about them, not me" Leaders sometimes feel frustrated when dealing with difficult staff because they feel helpless when the staff is not responding to their feedbacks. It is useful to be aware that there is only so much that one can do to help and support another person. The staff needs to understand that they are accountable to their own development. If they choose otherwise, there is nothing much that you can do to help. Your role is to help them be aware of this choice.

Reframe #2 - "My actions will motivate 90% of my team." When we have a difficult staff in our team, their behaviours affects everyone. Most of the time, the rest of the team wants to see a strong leader addressing these behavioural issues. Avoiding these conversations demotivates the rest of the team. Some leaders avoid addressing such issues for fear of demotivating that one person  but in turn end up frustrating 90% of the others.

Reframe #3 - "Whatever the outcome is, I win." Leaders sometimes avoid holding difficult conversations because they feel that they have more to lose if the desired change is not achieved. They are afraid that they will end up with more problems to deal with as a consequence of the conversation. It is important to be aware that we can never be certain of achieving any outcome in life. If the conversation turns out to be positive; celebrate. If it does not, use it as a learning experience to refine your approach the next time. You gained even though you didn't achieve your desired outcome because you get to practice. Over time, you will be comfortable with holding such conversations.

Reframe #4 - "There is a good reason why the staff is behaving that way." When we give the staff the benefit of doubt instead of assuming their bad intentions towards us, we approach the conversation with a positive emotional state of wanting to understand them. A useful self-reflection question would be, "In what situations might I be behaving in a similar manner, refusing help?"

Focus on behaviours, not content - I have noticed that difficult conversations cannot be effective if the conversation is focused on the content instead of behaviours. An example of content-based discussion is focusing on ways to increase sales and influencing the person on why he should consider your idea instead of just rejecting it. This kind of content-based discussions will not help the staff to understand the required behavioural shifts. Behavioral-based discussions on the other hand, focuses on behavioural shifts that the staff needs to make for example being punctual, listening more, being open to ideas to feedbacks, responding in a calm manner, not interrupting others etc. Focus on the required behaviours in such conversations.

Stepping up the conversation - Difficult behaviours are seldom solved in one conversation. You will probably need to hold a few, for any behavioural change to happen. The first conversation is to highlight what you are noticing and making a request of the behaviour you want. Next is to give feedback on the progress (or the lack of) and finally, explore consequences, if there is no progress. If there is a need for the fourth conversation, it will most likely be the final, implementing the consequences.

Example: Let's look at  situation where a sales staff is not meeting his sales budget consistently. He is not receptive to feedback/ suggestions, does not offer ideas to improve, does not take responsibility for his work and accountability on his results (blaming people,environment and situations.)

First Conversation - Share your observations and make a request. (Sharing your observation) "Sam, may I share an observation? I'd like to have your thoughts on this. (Wait for  consent). In our last three meetings, including this, I have noticed that my offered suggestions to help you increase your sales were not very useful to you. I can appreciate that as you probably know your clients and your situations better than anyone else to know what will work and what wont. At the same time I'm also not hearing any ideas coming from you (the existing behaviour)  on how you would bridge your sales gap. Would you say that is a fair observation?" (Listen to his response. He may not agree with your observation. What is important is you allow him to express his views). Then say, "Thank you for your your thoughts. I appreciate your perspective. (Making a request) For our future meetings, I'd like to request that you bring in some ideas (the new behaviour) for us to discuss on how you think we can meet our sales budget. I believe that you have a deeper understanding and insights of your situation and I trust that your ideas will be more relevant. Can we agree to that?" (Get an agreement)

Second Conversation - Giving feedback on progress. Praise progress no matter how small. If there is no noticeable change, reaffirm your request.

(Let's assume this is a tough case and he did not heed your request.) You say, "Sam, if you recall, I was looking forward to hearing some ideas from you in this meeting. Can you recall that conversation? (Pause for a response.) Re-state, "I'm fine with providing you with some ideas but it seems that those suggestion don't work for you. So, I'm wondering, what support might you need from me to help you remember to bring in ideas and suggestions for all our discussions? (Pause and listen.) It is important for us to work with your ideas because of the valuable insights and knowledge that you have in your area. Can I count on you to do that the next round? (Say with a firmer voice and listen for a commitment)

Third Conversation - Explore job fit if staff is still not responding. Reinforce and acknowledge positive changes of behaviours if you noticed any, no matter how little. If still no progress, explore consequences.

(Let's assume there is still no behavioural change). Say, "Sam, despite my two earlier request about bringing in ideas for discussion, I'm not seeing much attempt towards it. I don't know how else to support you to make it happen. I was wondering if you would like us to have a conversation to explore other work opportunities that will play to your interest and strengths. Sometimes, it is just a situation of finding the right fit for you. You might excel in the new environment or work. Would you like to explore in this area?

Choices - As leaders, we have only two options when faced with a consistently non-performing and non-responsive staff; to live with the situation or to hold that tough conversation. Some leaders avoid making this difficult decision in the hope that the problem will go away, eventually. It won't. If we choose to avoid these conversations, then we need to hold ourselves accountable for that decision.

The Challenge - Are you ready to experiment and step up your conversation?

Authored by: Wai K Leong    

As a coach or a leader, emotions such as fear, anger, sadness, anxieties, worry, shame, guilt are strong emotions that can interfere with our well-being and leadership effectiveness. Emotions are just energies arising from our interpretations and meanings that we have attached to any event or people.

You may be already aware why it is important for us to shift our disempowering emotions. Our feelings determine the quality of interactions with the people around us. We affect people around us through our body language, tone and words. The result of those interactions can determine future outcomes. Helping ourselves or our clients make that emotional shift is an important step towards a happier relationship, better health and positive outcomes.

Emotions are neither good nor bad. They are just energies which can be a source of information, telling us of what is happening with our body and thoughts. However, I shall label an emotion as negative if they are not serving in a useful manner. When our disempowering emotions linger for a period of time, it creates negative states and moods that disrupts  our well-being. Emotions arising from thinking about the past include sadness, guilt, hurt, ashamed; emotions related to the present includes feeling inferior, lonely, shy,  and thinking negatively about the future may generate emotions of fear, anxieties, worry, overwhelmed. Below is a vocabulary of words describing various kinds of emotions.

Step 1: Awareness - Being mindful and aware of our feelings is the first step in shifting negative emotions. When we are aware, it provides us with the choice to decide.

Step 2: Identify & Label - Being aware and then pinpointing the emotion reduces the intensity of the negative emotion. It takes us from the actor position, feeling it, to the observer position, noticing it. As we step into the observer position, we ask ourselves, "What is this emotion that I am experiencing?" Once we give it a name, it draws our attention and consciousness to it, instead of allowing it to affect us unconsciously in the background.

Step 3: Know the source - There are many sources that triggers negative emotions but the 3 main ones are our attachments, expectations and needs. "Attachments" are things or people that we are not able to let go of, while "expectations" are situations/ behaviours that we want happen in our way and in our time while "needs" are basic human psychological requirements such as the need to belong, to feel important, to love. When the needs are unfulfilled, we experience negative emotions. When we are able to label the emotion and the identify source, we then understand our emotional pain at the intellectual level.

Step 4: Making The Shift - Understanding our emotional triggers and states at an intellectual level does not guarantee any shift. Emotional shifts happens only when we can find a compelling reason to do so; when we change the meaning that we have attached to an event or person. Changing our thinking is called reframing our thoughts i.e. seeing things from a different perspective and putting new meanings to our past, present or future situations. Here is a question, "What new meaning can I attribute to the situation/ person that may help me look at it in a different way?", "What value will I get if I choose to interpret the situation in that way?"

Powerful emotion-shifting questions: It is often said, "The answer lies in the question". When we ask ourselves a useful question, we start our journey to discover and learn. Here are some more questions that you can use: "What am I getting by being in this state?", "What is the state that I want to be in?", "What do I need to let go of, to achieve my desired state?", "What meaning am I attaching to this event that is creating my emotion?", "What other possible meanings can I associate the event that can allow me to see it in a positive manner?", "What assumptions am I making?", "What might change if my assumptions were not true?", "What do I need to accept in order to move forward from here?", "What advise would I give someone who is experiencing this situation?"

Re-focus - Channelling our mental focus and energy towards more useful activities can support our journey to make that shift. Here are some ideas to do that. 1. Compile a gratitude list every day; 2. Re-frame and identify what is good about the situation; 3. Direct your energy through exercise and taking nature walks;  4. Focus on a positive future outcome; 5. Accept and experience the existing emotion deeply instead of trying to ignore or push it away; 6. Practice Emotional Freedom Techniques; 7. Be around positive people.

Making that decision - Ideas on how we can shift  our negative emotions will only be useful when we make a conscious decision to change. Have you decided if you want to shift your disempowering emotional state or mood? Make a loud declaration to yourself when you are ready. Here is a quote, "You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one."