Be Safe, Be Supportive, Be Vulnerable
9 May 2021
It’s my 65th Birthday!
I received tons of wishes from whatapps, LinkedIn & FB. No postcards or email wishes as yet. Thank you friends, partners, associates and to those I have not met, let’s catch up for coffee when MCO is lifted and we are clear to meet.
I would like to share some of my thoughts based on my journey as an Entrepreneur, Executive Coach & Business Coach.
How can we improve our relationships with people? How can we help others be better version of themselves and our lives will be lifted as well. How can we give more? Most of my friends, partners, and associates are doing well. So, how can we “Do Good”…..early, more and often.
Build Trust – a key ingredient in any relationship. When trust is there, magic happens. We share unconditionally, we go deeper into our hearts & feelings, we reflect and experience real emotions. One HR study quoted that one excellent way of building trust is “Ask how are you doing, shut up and listen”. Be curious about the person, be interested, be present, put away your phone & share your empathetic ear.
Provide a Safe & Supportive Place for the person to share their stories. Take away your judgement, give attention, have a beginner’s mind (Shoshin), be open to new ideas and perspectives. Acknowledge & appreciate what they share. Even if you think you know and is the expert, be curious and find out more.
Be Self Aware. All of us have different life experiences. As long as we have more self-awareness of our strengths & limitations, personalities, likes & dislikes, we would embrace each other’s quirks & nuances. Nobody’s perfect! We are all on a learning & growing journey. I found that when I have learnt something new, there comes more new stuff that I do not know.
Be a Life Long Learner. I go into every webinar, workshop, seminar & conference with the objective that if I can take away one or two new ideas that I can use & practice, I’d be glad that I have spent my time well. Practice makes progress. Practice makes permanent. And if you are equipped and acquire the new skills, you can then share with others to be more effective. Everyone will grow together.
Give. I’ve been delivering lots of workshops & coaching for NGO’s & Communities and gotten so much practice that delivering corporate workshops have been quite a breeze. Somehow, it appears to me the more I give, the more I receive. Connecting the dots backwards, some of the new materials that I have created are the result of my giving my time to help NGO’s & Communities in their noble work.
Don’t take things personally. Very often, we drained ourselves as our Ego gets in the way when things don’t go the way we want it to. Then we start blaming others, get angry with others and ourselves and practically get stressed out.
Always remember, it’s not about you. https://www.ted.com/talks/frederik_imbo_how_not_to_take_things_personally_mar_2020
Let’s Do Good early, more & often.
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4 responses to “Be Safe, Be Supportive, Be Vulnerable”
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Happy birthday, Jeff. You hardly look a day over 50. Well done, indeed 👍🏼
Thank you Michele, you are so kind.
I see that you are so focus on what you do in the area you are passionate about ie health related.
It’s big in US. Perhaps, we can hear more about this area from you.
Happy belated birthday Jeff! Thanks for sharing your thought on your “big” day. By the way, you need to share the secret how you keep the “youth” in you.
You are welcome Choon-Lan.
Thank you for volunteering, you are definitely an asset to ICF Malaysia and the amazing team.
I inherited good genes from my Mom. Plus I was given cod liver oil when I was a baby!
My Mom lived till 93, can eat anything, slept 8-10 hours a day and have no major health issues.
She mentioned that eating more frequently but in smaller portions. (That’s Dr M’s advice as well).
The one thing that I learnt from by observing is she is all out to have fun. She is always moving, can’t sit still and she will show up everywhere. At 80+ she goes to karoake and sings at every wedding – I have 17 nephews and nieces so almost every year, there is a wedding. She’d be on stage singing away.
During the last year of her life, I manage to spend sometime with her. I noticed that she is always caring for people, asking, giving, supporting those in need. And she keep her smile all the time.
So it’s no secret. Keep smiling, Be Kind, Give & as a Coach, we need to be Open.
And finally, don’t take things personally. My mother never did.